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Guest Post By Kavita J. Patel: The 2 Biggest Things I’ve Learned As A Relationship Coach

February 13th, 2014 | 1 comment

relationship coachI grew up in a household where my mother always knew the best foods to eat for a certain ailment – we always tried home remedies.

Not only that, but meditation, reflection, and understanding the importance of connecting with nature and other human beings were things I had practiced in my everyday life since I was a child.

I saw how impactful simple shifts in our diets and in our mentality could change the world around us.

Naturally, when I decided to carve out my own path in the world, I knew I wanted to share all of that with women everywhere as a health coach.

You’ll hear more about this in my training for Mentor Masterclass, but about two years into my coaching business, I felt like there was something missing.

That’s when I realized that my niche was actually in relationships, and my strategy shifted.

In the years now that I’ve been focused solely on relationships, I can honestly say that for me it was 100% the right decision.

If you’re thinking about getting into relationship coaching (or are already a relationship coach), here are two of the biggest lessons I have learned:

1) Don’t be afraid to have an opinion

One of the best qualities you can have as a coach in a saturated market (whether relationship coaching or some other area) is to have a strong point of view.

It may feel risky to be somewhat controversial, but that also means you are different.

For me specifically, I work with smart, successful women who are willing to have often difficult conversations with their parents in order to see the biggest shifts in their love lives.

I KNOW this works and so do my clients, but not every woman out there is willing to take that approach.

I know of another relationship coach that works solely with clients going through a breakup.

It might sound like she’s limiting herself by not including ALL single people, but really she’s carved out her place in the market!

Whatever you believe in, express it, teach it, and market it.

The type of client you want to work with will value you for that opinion, AND they will pay what you ask for it.

Once you have decided where you stand, you will have an easier time figuring out where people who would be open to your point of view or market hang out (online and in real life).

This makes it so much easier to market yourself, brand your site, and write your copy!

2) Help your clients feel their feelings!

The second biggest thing I have learned is that whenever a client has a wall, it is because some sort of emotion isn’t being released.

Whether because of a breakup, a rejection after a first date, job stress, or some other trigger, they will most likely try to ignore the feelings and want to move past them as quickly as possible.

As humans (who are now your clients) we are often very good at rationalizing everything in our heads of why something didn’t work out or how something is “for the best”.

While we DO absolutely believe those things, our feelings typically don’t catch up so quickly.

Without feeling them, they creep up on us weeks or months later and can often be more destructive this way.

I know that this feels better for them upfront, but it will hinder their progress in the long run.

As their coach, it is SO important to help clients own their feelings, feel them, and move into them.

This will actually get them out of them the quickest. I’m blessed with a killer instinct that can sense what clients are feeling that they’re not actually saying, and you will be able to tap into your easier and easier as time goes on.

Remember, as much as we can relate to what they’re going through, their experience is their own.

There are no wrong feelings.

As long as they are expressing themselves and what feels true to them in a healthy way, they will move through the discomfort and see shifts, which is the whole reason they will have hired you in the first place!

It is so rewarding to see the shifts that my clients make, and I know that through your effort and the awesome resources in Mentor Masterclass, you will definitely be able to accomplish what it is you are after.

To your success,



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One person has commented
  1. Hi Kavita!

    I’m one of Coach Jey’s students in MM and I just wanted to say thank you so much! I loved the interview and I think this blog is extremely helpful. Something struck a chord with me as I read this, particularly about being specific and helping our clients FEEL to move forward. I truly believe that and the way you word everything is just so delicious!

    Thanks again!

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